Dick’s Still in the Bardo

Not going to waste time with his being judged, as it would be too much like what I did with Rumsfeld. I think I’ll just keep him in limbo for a bit…marinating in the juices of his sins of hubris and rationalization, overlaid with a healthy dose of psychopathy.

I could chortle about the D’s wins Tuesday night, but that’s been done to death – over projection for absolute sure. Lipstick on a pig, I say. Isn’t going to really change anything – nor will the Supremes knocking Napoleon’s tariff disaster down (remember Napoleon/aka Stalin/aka King Trump from Animal Farm?). Nope. The end is near – too late to repent, you Republicans. You created this mess, and will be victims of it – but then so will the rest of us as well.

“What’s she talking about?” Oh, in your heart of hearts you know. Actually, I’ve been talking about this ever since I began this blog, rather tentatively, back in ’11. The economic crash. The mother of all crashes. Doomsday. This is the End (thank you, Jim Morrison for the words and Coppola for the images). Not nuclear – not yet – but economic, climatic and government: ECG. It’s the title of my next book, with the subtitle (The Triage). Diagnostic in nature, and with a real sense of urgency, describing the crash, approximating the time frame (always risky, but necessary) and suggesting that there is no averting it. It must play out. Christmas present to the world.

So “oh boo hoo”, you say, “there she goes again.” Yes. But accepting the fact that I’m a medium conveys a certain responsibility to share what is about to happen. “But,” you say, “if it can’t be averted, what’s the point in telling me about it before it happens?” Ah, good question. Ish would say better to know ahead of time than be surprised – and less prepared. “How do you prepare for Armageddon?” You ask. You don’t. As usual, Ishmael is saying what he thinks we want to hear. Bad habit of that. But he’s drawn that way.

“Oh, come on – it can’t be that bad.” That’s what they said on the east side of Jamaica just before Cat 5 Hurricane Melissa hit three days before Halloween. Trick or treat? Have you seen the pix? Devastation. Unlucky Jamaica. That can’t happen here. Really? It did before – the ’35 hurricane (unnamed, other than that it occurred on Labor Day) was as bad. Ruined Henry Flagler’s railroad to the Keys. My great grandfather worked for the railroad – reason he and his wife came to Florida.

“So tell me about this new book – ECG – like electrocardiogram? Are we talkin’ heart attack here?” Sort of. It’s also an acronym for Economy, Climate and Governance. Writing about Quantum Physics has given me a whole new understanding of processes and a whole new vocabulary to describe them. This aids immensely in describing what is coming. “Quantum Physics?” Oh Good Grief, read the book. QUALMS. Available from Amazon Kindle, paperback and hard copy. Also a volume 2 with conversations with Ismael. “Will you tell me more about this as you write the new book?” I will. Helps me think. I liked the format of QUALMS – conversational and simplified – but don’t want to repeat myself. As such, I will be channeling – or at least summoning – the ghost of Martin Amis to help with the effort. “Who?” Sigh. Just Google him. AI will explain.

Dick Cheney died Last Night

The title says it all. I suspect he’s currently in the bardo (the Buddhist word for limbo) awaiting his fate. According to the Zoroastrians, he will be weighed, measured and found wanting as he begins to cross the Chinvat bridge. He will not be sent to the Garo Demana, or House of Songs, where the best of us go to sit at the right hand of the deity. Instead, he will traverse the narrow Garo Druji, the path to hell. Who is waiting for him there? Read on and you’ll know.

The Trial of Donald Rumsfeld

Quarto Part 1

“Don – you’re late for the presser – anything I can do to help?”

“No, Jim – I’m just finishing up these last two memos to the fucking general who can’t seem to win this Goddamned war..tell the press they can fuckin’ wait.”

“OK, Don.  Um..ok.”

The assistant to the assistant secretary for middle east affairs went through the curtain to the podium.  “The Secretary is in a strategic meeting about important matters..it’ll just be a few more minutes.  Help yourself to some coffee and .. those crullers are pretty good, even if they’re from yesterday.”

A few of the assembled crowd got up to get their ninth cups of coffee for the day.  “Keeps me going and edginess is always a good thing for a Defense beat reporter, right?”

“Sure, Katie.  You were pretty hard on Rummy yesterday – getting’ him to cough up that known/unknown bullshit.  Made a great sound bite, and I’m pretty sure it’ll be there with him for all time.  How’d it go?  Oh yeah, there are..”

Just then the curtain pulled back and Rumsfeld strode into the closet known as the press room.  He frowned, looking around at the dregs of society known as the press corps.  Muttering under his breath, “fuckin’ morons,” he pointed at the front row.

“Sam.”

“Mr. Secretary, can you help us understand why it is that we’ve been stalled in Iraq now for 9 months with no progress having been made in either capturing Saddam Hussein, or in quelling the uprisings that daily result in American troop deaths?”

“Thanks, Sam.  Always good to start with a softball question. (muted laughter)  Listen, there’s always problems that were unanticipated when you go to war.  There are known knowns; there are known unknowns..then there’s..”

There was silence in the room.  The atmosphere changed to one of tension and confusion.  Sam said, “Ah, Mr. Secretary, you gave us that, uh..explanation yesterday.  Forgive my bluntness, sir.”

Rumsfeld nodded.  Standing in the aisle next to the curtain, Rumsfeld’s press aide and her assistant whispered to each other.  “That was embarrassing..never saw him pull a gaffe like that before.  I don’t think he’s sleeping well..all those deaths..”

“Ok, then, if there are no more questions, I’ll get back to my real work.  Thank you.”

The Secretary beat a hasty retreat through the curtains.  His staff followed, confident he would blow up at them because “one of those fuckin’ reporters set me up, and you let it happen.”  But there was no outburst; he went back to his office and slammed the door.

Quarto Part 2

Rumsfeld went home and ate his meal in silence, reviewing his briefcase full of papers.  He glanced up at the muted television; more video of IED explosions with Arabic letters scrolling beneath.  “Damn that al Jazeera; the insurgents give them the video and they play it until everybody in the world has seen it.  Qatar is supposed to be our ally, and they allow this?”  He leaned over and picked up the telephone to call his Chief of Staff about talking to someone in the Qatari embassy about this embarrassment.  But the line was dead.  He did what everyone does – pressed the receiver down a couple of times; still dead.  “That’s odd.”  He went in search of his cell phone, an instrument he loathed and only used in situations where a land line wasn’t available.  He found it in the drawer of the night stand next to his bed.  Flipping it open, he dialed the number he called several times daily.  A voice came on the line.  “That number is no longer in service.  Please check to be sure you’ve dialed correctly.”

He dialed it again; same message.  “What the hell?  Am I going crazy?”

For a brief moment, he felt a stab of panic.  “Stop being a pussy, Don..it’s just a damn phone.”  He went back into the living room.  The television that had just been playing that video was now just snow.  “Must be some kind of power surge problem – D.C.’s infrastructure is a pain in the ass.”

He sat back in the chair, picking up the stack of papers again.  But for some reason, the words appeared to be written in some foreign language.  He couldn’t make out a word of what was contained in the memo from Vice.  “This is absurd..guess I’m exhausted.  Think I’ll turn in, even’ tho’ it’s only 11:25.”

He changed into his skivvies and pulled the comforter and sheet down, sliding under them and turning onto his left side to sleep.  He was out within minutes.  He began to dream.  He saw himself at the same dais he’d been at today in the press room.  But now the room was long and narrow; and the dais had been turned around to face the wall.  He stood there for a moment, trying to figure out what was happening, when the wall began to rise.  Seated at a long table were three men and three women.  They wore civilian clothing; one of the women had on a beret.  Must be French, Rumsfeld thought.  The man sitting in the middle of the group spoke first, in a low, deep voice.  “Donald Rumsfeld, you are on trial, charged with culpable murder in the deaths of four thousand two hundred sixty seven individuals.  How do you plead?”

Rumsfeld turned around to look for someone on his staff; if this was a joke, it was a very bad one.  “Excuse me?  What are you talking about?  I’m the United States Secretary of Defense.  Who the hell are you – and them?”  He pointed at the assemblage before him.

“We are your judges, your jury and, if you are found guilty, we will determine your ultimate fate.  I repeat: how do you plead?”

Rumsfeld gritted his teeth.  “OK, sure.  I’ll play along.  I plead not guilty.  Now, can I get back to my office to do some real work?”  He walked over to the curtain, but when he pushed it aside, he found it had been bricked over.  He turned around to face the group.  “This isn’t funny, people.  I have to get back to work.”

The speaker for the group nodded solemnly.  Let the record show the defendant has pleaded not guilty.  Ms. Prosecutor: call your first witness.”

The woman with the beret stood up.  “I call Marine Lance Corporal José Gutierrez.”

A young man dressed in his service uniform seemed to appear out of thin air.  “Can you please tell the court your name and your address?”

The young man nodded.  “I am José Gutierrez and I was from Torrance, California by way of Guatemala City.  I died on the first day of the war in Iraq on March 21, 2003.”

The prosecutor nodded.  “Thank you for your service, Corporal Gutierrez.  José was the first casualty of the Iraq war.  Mr. Rumsfeld, do you know Corporal Gutierrez?”

Rumsfeld looked at the young man.  “Of course not.  I am the Secretary of Defense.  I cannot possibly know every individual that served in Iraq – living or dead.  That’s preposterous.  May I go now?”

The Speaker said, “We have just begun this trial.  Ms. Prosecutor, please call your next witness.”

“I call Staff Sergeant Marshall D. Roberts.”

Another young man appeared out of thin air, also dressed in the military uniform of the US Air Force.  “Can you please tell the court your name and your address?”

The young man said, “I am Marshall Roberts, and was from Owasso, Oklahoma.  I was the last man to die from hostilities in Iraq.  I was death number four thousand, eight hundred and ninety nine.  Including non-hostile accidents and, of course, suicides.  There were lots of those in this war, before and after combat.”

“Thank you for your service, Sergeant Roberts.  Mr. Rumsfeld, do you know Sergeant Roberts?”

Rumsfeld sighed.  “You know the answer to that.  If he was the last casualty, then I am not to blame.  I left the office of the Secretary in December of 2006.”

The speaker nodded.  “Yes, you did.  But that fact is irrelevant in this case, and the court will disregard the accused’s comment.”

The other four people took pens and scratched through a line on the paper before them. 

The speaker said, “That’s enough for today.  We shall convene tomorrow to hear additional evidence.  The panel is adjourned.”

Rumsfeld awakened.  He looked around, and found himself, not in Washington, D.C., but in his bed at his farm in Taos.  His daughter Marcy came into the room.  “Hey, dad.  Can I get you something?  It won’t be time for your shot until 8.”

Rumsfeld shook his head.  “What?  Shot?  What are you talking about?  Marcy, I had the strangest dream, and now I can’t understand how I got here to the house.  And what are you doing here?”

Marcy smiled.  “You’ve been ill, dad.  You just had another dream.  This is like the fifth time you’ve told me about how you’re still the Secretary and there was a problem with the telephone.  What was the dream this time?”

“I was on trial – over the war.”

Marcy nodded.  “Well, that’s a new one.  Listen, how about some soup?  I just made some of your favorite – chicken tortilla.  A little soup will do you good.”

Quarto Part 3

The pill took its effect at 8:10, right after he’d eaten the remnants of his soup.  His appetite wasn’t much these days; he’d lost a fair amount of weight, and his skin hung loose at his neck.  But his wife and daughter did their best to tend to his needs, even though he could be impatient and demanding.  “You’re not back at the office ordering your underlings around anymore, Don” said his wife Joyce. 

As soon as he settled into the oxycodone-induced sleep, Rumsfeld was back in front of the panel.  The speaker said, “Now we will consider evidence of culpability.  Mr. Archivist, please begin your case.”

The man sitting next to the woman in the beret stood.  In his hands, he held a large book, bound in gold leaf, with a gold tasseled bookmark.  He opened the book and flipped through the pages until he found what he was looking for.

“Mr. Rumsfeld, on September 11th, 2001, did you suggest that Saddam Hussein and Iraq be attacked in addition to “UBL”?

“No.  I suggested no such thing.”

The Archivist put out his hand and a piece of paper appeared.  He handed Rumsfeld the document that appeared to be handwritten notes.  Signed at the bottom was the name Stephen Cambone.  Written about a third of the way down were the words “Best info fast. Judge whether good enough [to] hit SH at same time – not only UBL [Pentagon shorthand for Usama/Osama bin Laden].”

“I have no recollection of these words.  Cambone must have gotten it wrong.  He never was the sharpest knife in the drawer.”  Rumsfeld’s smile was grim, and he moved his neck to the right, as though his collar were too tight.

The Archivist looked down at his book.  “Would you say the treatment of Iraqi prisoners of war at Abu Ghraib was the greatest failure of your tenure as Secretary?”

Rumsfeld snarled, “Oh, why does that always get brought up?  That was the responsibility of the intelligence services – not MY army.  That was Tenet’s fuckup.  Listen, I’ve had about enough of this bullshit.  What about all the good things I accomplished?  I created the Freedom of Goddamn Information Act, for Chrissake.”

The man referred to as the Archivist stared at him.  “I repeat the question.  Would you say the treatment..”

Rumsfeld took a step away from the dais and toward the panel.  He felt a jolt as electricity flow through his body.  He thought to himself, That must be a taser!  I just got fucking’ tasered.

He awoke with a start.  His feet felt like pins were being stabbed into his feet, sending the electricity up through his legs and into his groin.  “Aah, dammit!  Joyce, goddammit!  That thing is happening again.  Get me that shit that makes it go away.”

His wife entered the room, handing him a pill and a juice glass of water.  “It’s not shit; it’s called gabapentin.  You have to watch how much of this you can take – last time you said it gave you blurred vision and you couldn’t see the tv.”

Rumsfeld nodded.  “Oh..yeah..okay.  But right now I need it – this feels like I’m being stabbed in my feet and it’s driving me crazy.”

Joyce handed him the television remote and left the room.  He jabbed at the “on” button and started channel surfing.  It was likely the middle of the day; with the curtains drawn it was hard to tell.  Nothing on but the Hallmark Channel and CNN.  “Great choices.  Blah..Whatever happened to westerns?  GunsmokeHave Gun Will Travel?  Jesus, even The Big Valley was better than the shit they have on today.”

The gabapentin had quelled the tingling in his feet, but the blurred vision and sleepiness returned.  As soon as he was asleep, he found himself back in front of the panel.  This time he was sitting in a chair.  He tried to get up, but found he couldn’t move. 

The Archivist had returned to his seat.  The speaker looked to his left.  “Now we must evaluate remorse.  Ms. Troy?

A smallish woman with long, black hair and pale skin stood and approached him in the chair.  “Mr. Rumsfeld, I am an empath – like the character on Star Trek – the Next Generation. I’m sure you remember that television program?”

Rumsfeld smiled.  “Oh, yes, yes!  I liked that show.  Troy – yes, she was an empath and helped the captain know the intentions of his enemies.  Things always turned out well at the end of the hour.  Yes!”  He nodded with satisfaction.  “Good television, back in the day.  I started watching that when the first Gulf..the first Gulf war was going on.  That other war..the show helped me relax at the end of the day.  I was on the ABB board then..got lots of contracts from..never mind.”

Ms. Troy nodded.  “Yes, but we’re not here to talk about that.  It’s my job to evaluate your level of remorse over your actions before, during and after that second war in Iraq.”

“You mean as Secretary of Defense?”

Troy nodded.  “Naturally.  The Prosecutor and The Archivist brought up people and situations that should have caused you to feel some level of guilt, given how things turned out.  I want to ask you about..”

“Guilt is for pussies.  I never had time to waste on emotion; I was too busy running the gov..running the defense department to even think about that stuff.  What would happen if I was to get all emotional about those boys being blown up every day – I couldn’t do my damn job.  Surely you must understand that.  I had a job to do.”

Calmly, Ms. Troy let him finish; then ignored his statement.  “I want to ask you about your relationships – with your peers – with the president – with the people that reported to you.  With rank and file soldiers.  It’s possible that we can find something in those relationships that might help the panel see the human.. humane side of you?”

Rumsfeld squirmed.  “Sure..why not?  We can talk about that.  But right now, I need to take a piss.”

Quarto Part 4

Rumsfeld got out of bed, trying to make it to the bathroom before he wet himself.  He collapsed on the floor.  Marcy found him, with Joyce right behind.  “Call 911, Mom.”  The ambulance came and the EMTs scooped him up, transporting him to Holy Cross hospital.  This was a routine they’d followed for the past five months.  As always, he was admitted to the oncology wing.

That night, the doctor on call came in, flipping through the pages on Rumsfeld’s chart.  “Mr. Donald Rumsfeld?”  The patient nodded, feebly.  “I have the results of your latest blood work.  I’m sorry to say, sir it doesn’t look good.  Off hand, I’d say you need to go home and be with your family in these last hours you have.  There’s nothing we can do for you here, and I’m sure you don’t want to die alone and anonymous.”

With what little energy he had left, he snarled, “Son, your bedside manner sucks.  What’s your name?  I’m going to report you to the local medical association.”

The resident looked at Rumsfeld.  “My name is Dr. Marshall Roberts.”

Rumsfeld felt a flash of recognition for the young man, but it passed quickly in the thick of his indignation.  “At my last visit, my very expensive oncologist said I had several months left, if I was careful.  I’ve been careful, so call him.  I want a second opinion.  His name is..”  Rumsfeld shook his head, trying to clear it from the last round of medication.  He couldn’t remember his ‘very expensive’ oncologist’s name.  Dr. Roberts said, “According to your intake, your regular doctor is Dr. Blevins, who is affiliated with this hospital.  Unfortunately, Dr. Blevins is on a ski holiday and left instructions not to be disturbed..no matter what any of his patients say.”

Rumsfeld lay back, feeling utterly defeated.  A few minutes later, a large, Hispanic orderly came in with a wheel chair.  “Let’s get you dressed, sir.  You’re going home.”  Gently, the orderly helped him up, then went to the closet to get the clothes hanging there.  Carefully, he removed the hospital gown, avoiding looking at the wrinkled, naked old man underneath. 

As he was tying Rumsfeld’s shoes, he glanced up.  Rumsfeld was smiling.  “You’ve been very kind, young man.  What’s your name?  I’d like to let the hospital know you’ve done a good job, here.”

“Gutierrez, sir.  José.  Thank you.  That’s most kind.”

Somehow, Rumsfeld had a vague memory of having met the young man before.  “Have I seen you somewhere young man?  You look so familiar.”

The young man smiled.  “I don’t think so, sir.  I’m pretty confident we travel in different circles.  But you’re all set – hop in my magic chariot, and I’ll take you downstairs.  Your wife is there, ready to take you home.”

Coming out of the elevator, Joyce was there, smiling at him.  She was holding a bag with vials from the pharmacy.  “I thought I’d get your Oxycontin prescription refilled while we were here.  Ready to go?”

Rumsfeld nodded, exhausted now by the effort.  “Just take me home, Joyce.  I’m dying here.” 

That’s strange, thought Joyce.  That’s the first time he’s acknowledged what’s happening to him, thanks to multiple myeloma.

When they returned home, a hospital bed was in the room adjoining the living room, the room he’d used as a sort of study while he worked on his next book about the coming war against China.  “I thought it best to keep you closer to me down here.  The bathroom is right there – and I’ll be available if you need anything.”

“Where’s Marcy?” croaked Rumsfeld.  She was here before, right?”

Joyce nodded.  “She needed to take care of some things at home.  She’ll be back in a few days.  Don’t worry.”

Don’t worry – that’s easy for her to say.  I’m dying and nobody cares.  He was wallowing in self- pity, and offended that he was stuck in the corner of the living room like yesterday’s newspapers.

Joyce helped him change into clean pajamas, and tucked him into the hospital bed.  “Are you in pain?  Do you need a pill?” 

“No, I’m not in pain at the moment – still have some of the stuff left in me that quack doctor – Roberts? – gave me at Holy Cross.  Jeez, what a prick that guy was.”

Joyce frowned.  “Who?  Don, the only doctor you saw at Holy Cross was Dr. Blevins.  You must have been confused – because of the meds.”

Rumsfeld started to argue, but didn’t have the energy to pursue it.  “Well, at least the orderly was nice – that kid José.  He helped me get dressed and was really kind and gentle.”

Joyce looked at him, shaking her head.  “Don, I don’t know what you’re saying.  I got you dressed..and believe me, it was quite a chore.  You fought me every step on the way.  Dr. Blevins said it was the medication making you so combative.”

At that moment, his stomach twisted into a knot.  “Oh Jesus..the pain has kicked in.  Give me a pill – and be quick about it.  I want to have it before this thing gets any worse.”

Sighing, Joyce picked up the vial and gave him the 120 mg tablet Blevins had ordered.  He’d said Don’s pain would be exponentially worse now that he was close to the end of life.  “Better make it two – it’s getting worse by the second.”

“Don, these are stronger than the ones you..”

“Goddamit, Joyce, give me two of the fucking pills.  I need them now!”

Joyce bit her tongue and gave him another pill.  He swallowed it, starting to gag.  She handed him the glass of water, and he got the pill down, spilling some of the water down his chin. “Thanks – already starting to work.”

His eyes felt extraordinarily heavy.  He closed them and was immediately back in front of the panel.  The Speaker opened the large, leather bound book in front of him.  “Donald Henry Rumsfeld, the panel is ready to render its verdict.  I’ll ask each of them to speak to you.

The woman in the beret spoke first.  “You were instrumental in arguing for the war in Iraq, a country that had absolutely nothing to do with the attack on the World Trade Center.  You sent young men to die without proper equipment and in insufficient quantities.  When others challenged your decision making, you refused to bend.  You are guilty on all counts of murder.”

The Archivist stood.  He opened the book with the gold edge.  “Your statements to the press made a mockery of this war.  You indulged your own ego in making comments that now come back to haunt you.  Comments like “known unknowns; you go to war with the army you have; but perhaps the worst of them all?  People are fungible.  They can be here or there.  People are humans.  They are not commodities.  You are guilty of failing to communicate effectively through the media to the American people.  You are guilty of failing to provide sufficient support to troops that died as a result.  You are guilty of gross negligence in the handling of the war you mockingly called Operation Iraqi Freedom.  A million Iraqis died, not for freedom but for your and others’ hubris.  You are guilty on all counts.”

Miss Troy stood, looking deeply into Rumsfeld’s eyes.  “I have searched your soul for some sign of empathy for the havoc you wrought on the sovereign country of Iraq.  I sense your ego stood in the way of you ever admitting wrong-doing or even hinting that you cared about the deaths of troops and innocent civilians as events transpired that made the conflict go from bad to worse.  Therefore, I have advised the panel that your sentence not be mitigated by any mercy.  Your soul has arrived at this time and place greatly in need of punishment and rehabilitation.  This will figure into your coming fate.”

At the other end of the table, the last man and woman stood up.  They appeared to be of middle eastern origin; the woman wore a sari, but the man wore a business suit.  “We are Khizr and Ghazala Khan.  Our son died looking out for his men on guard duty in Dyala Province in June 2004.  Looking out for your soldiers is something you have clearly demonstrated was not on your list of priorities.  My wife and I have discussed your situation at length.  It is not revenge for the death of our son that motivates us to agree with the findings of this panel. We think Miss Troy is right. We are Muslims, yet we believe the Hindus are correct about reincarnation.  Your soul is twisted and black.  It is in need of..yes, punishment but also rehabilitation if you are ever to find redemption.”

The man took the woman’s elbow and helped her back to her seat.  The Speaker had been writing in the leather bound book.  He put his pen down.  “Donald Henry Rumsfeld, it is the unanimous opinion of this panel that the following events will occur.”  He cleared his throat, putting on a pair of reading glasses and looking down at the book.  “First, no one other than your immediate family will mourn your death.  Opinions will be written suggesting you should ‘rot in hell’.  That will not be your fate. Instead, you will spend the first interval of your next incarnation in the body of a triple amputee living in Baltimore, Maryland on a 50% pension, determined by the Veterans Administration to be equivalent payment for his – for your – suffering. This will be an attempt on our part to teach you humility.”

The Speaker turned the page.  “The second interval will be spent daily inhabiting the body of Sergeant Regina C. Reali, just as she was blown to bits by an improvised explosive device two days before Christmas in Baghdad, 2005.  You will relive this explosion and her agony every day for an unspecified length of time. In this incarnation, it is hoped you will learn empathy for the suffering of others – because you will have suffered terribly yourself.”

Once again, the Speaker turned to the next page in the book.  “In the third interval of your next incarnation you will return to the early 20th century, inhabiting the body of a notable military person, General Oskar Potiorek, charged with protecting a future king.  You will invite this future king to observe your military maneuvers, in hopes that you would replace him as Inspector General of the Army.  On June 28, 1914, that future king and his wife die at the hands of an assassin. You will be riding in their limousine when a bomb is thrown at their vehicle.  It will be Archduke Ferdinand and his wife Sophie, and it will be your fault that the first great war begins when you try to cover up your culpability by insisting you will resign if your country does not go to war with Serbia.  You know how that will turn out, don’t you Donald Henry Rumsfeld?  It will be through this knowing that you may learn to take responsibility and admit when you are wrong.”

Rumsfeld said.  “Is that all?”

The Speaker shook his head no.  “After that interval, you will be relegated to the life of an orphan girl, living on the streets of Calcutta, India.  We think this may give you the resourcefulness to live an authentic life.  Once you have lived as this orphan girl and it is determined that you have sufficiently atoned for your actions?  Only then will you be allowed to move on to less..onerous existences.”

Rumsfeld shook his head.  “I know this is all just my drug addled dream, but let me just say one thing: there were others much more guilty than I was in how the Iraq war was handled.  Take Dick Cheney, for example.  You know, back in the day he reported to me.  Then he conned that stupid kid George W. into making him Veep, and boy oh boy, talk about being off to the..never mind.  Let’s just say Dick and Condi – don’t get me started on that bitch – had the boy president’s ear a lot more than me.  So if you want to punish someone, make it them, not me.”

The Speaker nodded.  “We will be here when their time to be judged arrives.  Goodbye, Donald Henry Rumsfeld.”

Joyce awoke with a start.  “Oh my god, I must have been exhausted.  I’d better see to Don.”  She went downstairs, finding him sprawled half on and half off the hospital bed.  She knew as soon as she saw him, that he’d died sometime in the night.  She picked up the phone.  “Marcy, your dad died last night.  Could you please release that statement to the press? The one about how he died, surrounded by his loving family?”  

Rumsfeld opened his eyes.  He looked around in the darkness.  There was a rank smell: like rotting meat.  “Goddamit, Joyce, what were you cooking?  I can’t stand the sm..”

He started to sit up, but found he could not – something was keeping him from bending at the waist.  He reached for the controls on the side of the bed, raising it up.  He leaned over, turning on the floor lamp.  As he turned back around, he looked down at the sheet on the bed.  Something didn’t look right.  Quickly, he snatched off the sheet.  Horrified, he looked down at two stumps where there used to be legs.  “No – this isn’t possible..no – Joyce!  Help me!”

But there was no Joyce – there was nobody.  He was in a dismal little apartment, apparently up a couple of floors from the street.  He looked out the window, recognizing the scene below.  The Inner harbor..Baltimore.

EPILOGUE

In May of 2031, a Blue Origin spacecraft was launched from Cape Canaveral at 6:12 a.m.  Its mission was to explore the surface of the earth, using Ground Penetrating Radar to look for evidence of mass graves in the middle east after the war ended between Iran and the coalition of Israel and Saudi Arabia.  It was a mission sponsored by the UN; its aim was to hold war criminals on both sides accountable for atrocities.

As it passed over the western side of Iran, the skilled operator – a young man named Roberts whose father had been killed in Iraq in 2005 – noticed something odd in the desert near Tuz Khurmatu, just south of Kirkuk in the neighboring country of Iraq.  He manipulated the satellite’s cameras to zero in on its exact location; then communicated the lat/long coordinates to the ground team excavating potential sites.  The next morning, the heavy equipment moved in and started removing sand from the site.  By noon, the evidence was irrefutable.  What Roberts had taken for a grave site, was one of a sort.  Saddam Hussein had ordered his barrels of chemical weapons, fissile material and ‘weapons of mass destruction’ buried here a month before the start of hostilities called Operation Iraqi Freedom, nearly thirty years before.

A small article appeared about this find in the Baltimore Sun on page 6-A that Sunday morning.  The Iraq war veteran living in that small apartment in Baltimore was sitting in his wheelchair eating his breakfast with his one good hand.  As he read the piece, a strange feeling of satisfaction came over him.  Maybe it was because of his service – and sacrifice, that he felt vindicated that there were, in fact, WMDs that justified the Iraq war.  But he sensed there was more – that somehow, maybe in a previous life, he had staked everything: his honor, his reputation – everything – on the fact that these weapons existed.  But this morning, he was just trying to finish his Cheerios without spilling too much onto the table.  He just didn’t have the energy to clean up the mess.

Rumsfeld is likely on to the second manifestation: being blown up by an IED over and over again like Groundhog Day. Oh, look! Dick is approaching the bridge where the same tribunal waits to give him a fair trial.

Why am I so angry with these two men? You ask, am I a bleeding heart liberal, hating war and loving peace? I suppose. But you sense something deeper. What else are you? I’m a mother. Those two tried to kill my boy. There’s no forgiveness here. Only retribution, punishment and suffering – just what they inflicted on those boys who were fighting and dying in Sadr City in March of 2008. Neither Cheney nor Rumsfeld sent any help for four days. Why? Because it was politically expedient to say only Iraqis were fighting the Sadrists. That was a lie.
Moms hate liars.

This Will Be Called “The Week that Was”

Back in ’64, there was a weekly show hosted by David Frost that was pretty cool. It was called “That was the week that was” with a hip girl singer singing the theme song every week at the beginning. It was funny and clever and .. well, needless to say, it didn’t last. The generation wasn’t ready to change yet.

But now I take that phrase and apply it to this week. Why? Monday – Trump meets with the Dems and the Rep boys to .. to what? The Dems wanna say they tried? Trump will goad Schumer into a tantrum, and say, “They wanted talk – they got it. Now they will do what they have to do.” Yes. LIkely.

Also, today Kirsten returns to work at a job she’ll likely despise, but it might help keep things going for a little while anyway. Does it really matter? Probably not. Why do I say that?

Tomorrow the Hegseth/Goering SecWar tells the assembled military leaders that they are now working for Trump, forget the Constitution. That’s so yesterday. And how will they react? Are they prepared for this turn of events? Nope. Some will laugh nervously. Some will sigh, some will nod. But the damage will be done. They’re his now. Dispatched to Oregon to quell those non-existent riots. Well, not non-existent – just old, resurrected by the little guy that puts videos together for Fox news looking for a visual. Oh my…won’t be he proud?

Then Wednesday the government – what’s left of it – shuts down, likely for a very, very long time. Will we get our checks? If not, that cuts our income by 40%. Can we survive? Can those folk that got DOGE’d? And when the rest deemed “non-essential” get fired – what will they do?

It’s time. For what, you ask? To acknowledge that it isn’t gonna get better. We’re not gonna just slide through this term like we did last time. We’re talking plastic deformation here, folks. This won’t end well. Yes it will end, at some point, but there won’t be very much left.

So what should we do to prepare? Stop talking. Start planning. Garden. Barricades. Guns? I’m not there yet, but I’m gettin’ there. Who will save us? Nope. This has been a very long time coming, and it will be oh so painful – likely for the rest of my and maybe your time here on earth. Can we feel better for having anticipated it, called it as we saw it, warned everyone to no avail? Nah. Remember the women in Berlin in June of ’45. Did anybody swoop in to save them? Nope. They learned to cope. So will we.

Charlie’s Right – But So What?

Charlie Warzel writes for The Atlantic and also has a newsletter called Galaxy Brain about technology, media, big ideas, his words, not mine from his brief bio at the end of the latest article. It’s entitled, “Something is Very Wrong Online”, talking about the media and violence. You know what this is about: the assassination of Charlie Kirk. Another Charlie. Charlie Brown. Charlie Rose. Charlie the North Vietnamese soldier. So many Charlies.

But the bad guy this time is called Tyler, a 22 year old from a little town in Utah. Warzel repeats the things that have been said so far, being careful not to “make up stories” about the kid or his family or dig too deeply into his “story” to be fabulous – as in a fable. But I feel no compunction to hesitate. Charlie has national attention; I just write this talkin’ to myself, mostly.

So Tyler the 22 year old. I wrote a similar profile to this one about Edward Snowden, the blabbermouth who’s in Russia now doing God knows what. The leaker of leakers, who started a mini-trend of leaking that led to all kinds of weird stuff – Chelsea Manning? Anyway, the profile feels similar. Tyler’s a really smart guy; aced his ACTs and went to college on scholarship. Bombed out after a semester. What happened there? Here’s the story I make up.

He comes from a “Good Family”, so he led a pretty sheltered life, outdoorsy and fairly happy. He’s the oldest son, but I suspect he didn’t get along very well with his dad – much closer to his mom. Maybe Dad was jealous of how smart his son is – was. Maybe son was having trouble adjusting to puberty. Anyway, he leaves home at 18, goes off to college and now the guardrails are off. He’s responsible for himself now – no mom around to make sure he got up in the morning. So maybe he was staying up all night, playing a virtual character in video games that got him hooked. Too tired to go to class in the morning, but no big deal. In high school, he could ace the test even if he skipped class, which I suspect he had a habit of doing back then. Starting to get the image that Charlie W was hesitant to portray – or lacked the insight to see?

So the conquering hero returns home – three and a half years ago – and what has he been doing since then? Staying up all night, playing a darker virtual character in Helldivers 2 (from Charlie W too). No job. Probably on medication for depression. When his dad confronted him about “looking like the guy in the picture” (?), he said he’d rather kill himself than turn himself in. So what does dad do? Get a minister who is somehow affiliated with the police department to let the totally incompetent FBI know. Who gets to announce that they got the kid? Trump. Jesus. Am I dreaming all this?

Yes, I think I sort of am. The blur between virtual and whatever ‘real’ is now is complete. There’s a whole cadre of Tylers out there. They aren’t necessarily political – oh, they may say mean things about guys like Kirk, but there’s no substance to it. No – they are just “playing the game”. Crikey, even the video of him slipping off the roof, jumping onto the ground and running away looked like a character in a video game. No wonder kids are so confused these days!

Charlie W writes that these Tylers are part of “fandoms – a hybrid threat network of disaffected people that can include Columbine obsessives, neo-Nazis, child groomers and trolls. They perform for one another through acts of violence and cheer their community on to commit murder.” Well, there you have it. To commit murder. Tyler finds out a notable person is coming to a town near him, and, voila…picks up his dad’s hunting rifle – which probably hasn’t been fired in ten years – still in the bag – and carries it up the steps to the roof with a half baked idea about doing something. He hates himself because he’s afraid of dying, but thinks he’ll just go up there and see how it feels, and then he looks and sees he has a perfect shot at the guy, and maybe the bulletproof vest will let the bullet bounce off, and so he’ll just be charged with attempted, not murder, and not die in a hail of bullets like that little weasel in Butler – but then things happened really fast and then not well. So he runs into the woods, and manages, in his panic, to drop the gun. Drop the gun. Some assassin.

Here’s the thing. Charlie W has no solutions to this problem. Just a definition of the problem. Symptoms, not the disease. Characteristics of these archetypes. Quotes from angry people ostensibly in charge at the government. Not in any way helpful.

What’s my solution? I’m writing it in QUALMS, so I won’t bore you with a rehash of it here. But I’ll say what I’ve been saying for a very long time. The collapse is coming. But there will be a Reconvening. That’s all I know. And I know it with all my heart, mind and soul. There’s no preparing for it, any more than the women left in Berlin in ’45 could prepare for the onslaught of the very angry Russian army. We’re in trouble and we know it. But we are so constrained by isolation, helplessness and fear that we just go through the days like characters in a video game of our own creation. Ay, Horatio, there’s the rub.

Oh – guess I’m back. Been a while, but QUALMS kept me busy. It’ll be out by Thanksgiving.

The Price of Eggs

I woke up at 5:25 am this morning with an image of a guy in a park ranger suit and hat in my head. He must have had some kind of identification on, because I knew he was one of those guides from the USS Arizona Memorial at Pearl Harbor. Recall the Arizona sank after being attacked by Japanese Zero airplanes on December 7th, 1941. One thousand, one hundred seventy seven men died on the Arizona, including twenty three sets of brothers. Imagine the visit those moms got a few days later.

But now it’s 5:36 am. I’m sitting at the keyboard, typing this while I wait for my coffee to finish brewing. I’m thinking about the current situation in this country. It’s dire. But what’s that to do with my snatch of a dream about a park guy from the Arizona?

It’s this: JAPAN HAD NO LOGICAL WAY TO WIN A WAR WITH THE UNITED STATES ON DECEMBER 8TH, 1941. But they attacked anyway. They’d “made up their mind and counted to three” to quote Penny Wharvey McGill from “Oh Brother Where Art Thou.” Let’s discuss this (The Japanese attack, not Holly Hunter’s character).

It’s easy to look back from the position of eighty four years later and say the Japanese had no way to win a war with the United States. Things looked quite dire in December of ’41. The adage “go big or go home” was adopted in this effort by the Japanese. In addition to Pearl Harbor, they attacked all over the far East, successfully taking real estate from mostly British colonies. Hitler and his cronies were busy in the Mediterranean and against the Russians in that country. For a short time, as I said, things were dire.

Fast forward six months or so to the Japanese attack on Midway. I’m sure we’ve all seen the movie …movies on the topic. It was a huge victory for the American navy, achieved through cleverly breaking Japanese codes and good intuition on the part of a few navy fliers. But here’s my point: that was six months later. The war with Japan didn’t end until just short of four years later, and with the help of dropping two atomic bombs on the country, killing an estimated two hundred ten thousand Japanese men, women and children.

Get to the point, Susan. Okay. Admiral Yamamoto, the architect of the Pearl Harbor attack, knew they couldn’t win. He made the best of the bad hand the Japanese had. They needed oil. They couldn’t carry out their expansionist plans in the far east without it to operate their war machine. All this is settled history – dogma, if you will. But a little digging shows all this started with a cadre of young, radical officers in Japan who orchestrated the attack on Manchuria in China ten years earlier – without orders to do so. But in for a penny … you know the rest. They kept going, and it was MADNESS to think they could succeed. They didn’t. Trump and his cadre of … whatever you want to call them … won’t either.

They are destroying the establishment government. Young people wearing balaclavas are snatching people with brown faces off the street for the sin of helping to write op ed pieces about the other disaster occurring in the Middle East. They are putting alleged bad guys on planes and taking them to notorious prisons in El Salvador, paying their government to keep them dressed in their boxers. Kristi Noem, showing up in front of this gang of guys in tight t-shirt and jeans – and a $50k Rolex (ugh) … makes a commercial for the regime. Jesus H. Christ. And we just sit there in front of our TVs and say nothing?

It’s WWE and The Apprentice all rolled into one. Tacky. Clumsy. Dangerous.

This cannot continue. But it will. And it’s a gonna get worse. Japan attacked Pearl Harbor because they’d gotten away with everything they’d done up to that point. The incompetent British in the far east were powerless to stop them. But maybe the Japanese kids in charge thought all of us were incompetent. Just as the Trumpers think all brown people are the enemy. Makes ya just want to shake your head? Hmm.. don’t think that will be enough.

Then there’s poor Little Marco. Swept up in all this. The kid from ex-pat Cuban parents, having to make nice widda Russians. Out way over his skis as Sec of State. Signing off on these snatches and deportations. Poor sucker. What price to lose your soul, Marco? This won’t end well for him – and for us.

Four years after Pearl Harbor, the mainland of Japan was in ruins. Total casualties were estimated at almost three million. Millions of others in the far east were casualties of their folly. And for what? Four years from now, what will this country look like? Will we even have mid-term elections in 2026 that are real? In ’41, Japan was overtaken by the same madness that has overtaken this country at this time. We will pay for it over the next quarter century, becoming the pariah of the world, subjected to cyberattacks that make the last few years look like child’s play. No matter who sits in the Oval Office, the damage will be done. We won’t be able to put Humpty Dumpty back together again until after you and I are dead and gone. Our children and grandchildren will suffer mightily. And for what? To bring down the price of eggs. We will get what we deserve. It’s called Karma. We knew what he was when we picked him up. But pick him up we did, with half the country voting for him. John Adams said “There was never a democracy yet that did not commit suicide.” We have the pill bottle open and we’re swallowing one pill at a time.

NEW BOOK

Title: Quantum Mechanics, The Multiverse and The Afterlife:

Short Title: QUALM (catchy, huh?)

Why?

Because this is what interests me.

What about these three things is of interest to you?

I think they are all connected

How so?

Things work differently at the quantum level. The multiverse is just a theory, but there may be a connection between it and what certain sensitive individuals can feel – the ‘other side’

So you think people who talk to dead people – like yourself – are simply tuning into the Multiverse?

Yes

What proof do you have that this is so?

I have no proof. If there was proof, why write about it? I want to explore it. I want to take the reader on the journey with me. So I intend it to be comedic.

What’s funny about Quantum Mechanics? And really, what’s funny about the afterlife? Being dead ain’t funny.

Really? Hmm..The Ghost and Mrs. Muir. Topper. Ghostbusters. Beetlejuice. Casper. Well, maybe not Casper. The kid’s cartoon was better than the movie. But you get the idea. The comedy comes from seeing but not believing. Or being believed. With my book, the comedy will likely come from the confusion that surrounds these three things.

So OK. Have you got an outline for this thing yet?

Nope. Do I need one this time?

You always need one.

I’m not sure about that. How can I do an outline about things I haven’t learned yet?

Good point. OK. Broad outline..section titles…bread crumbs to follow so you don’t get lost in the weeds?

That makes sense. OK – I’ll work on that.

Good. So get started.

OK. Should I do the research first – read the books and then summarize them?

Nope. General outline first.

I’ll do that. Thanks, buddy.

You’re welcome. We’re always together now.

Indeed we are.

Awakenings

It’s 2:25 AM, and my brain has been in overdrive mode for at least an hour. Clearly it’s tapped into the ‘other’ dimension, the one that wades through all the chaff to find the wheat, metaphorically speaking. I’m talkin’ big scale here. Big.

Let’s start with the fundamentals. Democracy is dying – worldwide. Who killed it? Everybody did their part. The remnants of Communism in China – in particular Deng – made like they were benign and got let into the World Trade Organization. Recall that’s the organization that Trump killed. But four decades of Chinese trade dominance made it clear that Chinese Communism worked where Russian Communism didn’t. So that’s part of it. What else? Who else? We did. Let me ‘splain.

Roll your tape all the way back to 11/22/63. Operation Northwoods was supposed to be a false flag operation that opened the door for the kooks – aka spooks – in the CIA to mount a mission to attack the island of Cuba. Bombastic Fidel drove those boys nuts. But the false flag operation went slightly awry, and ended up killin’ the prez. Oops. They spent lots of treasure covering that big oops up. So what started small got big – government-wide big. Nobody could let the Russians know that the CIA killed the president. It would show how really vulnerable we were, with people at the helm that oughn’t be. Goodness knows, might lead to revolution. So let the lies begin.

Then somebody, somewhere said, “Hey, this is actually kinda easy. And it’s like losing your virginity or using portables. Never mind, won’t explain that one. Losing your virginity. After the first time, the second one is easy. So they used the same methods to kill Robert K and Martin L K. Got away with those too. How? They were united in rationalizing that anything they did was in the name of keeping strong in the face of the nuclear-armed Russians. Kind of like in the face of WMDs with Saddam. Gettin’ the idea? Ironic that little Putin, small KGB Dresden gnome was taking notes for later. More on that later in this post.

So how – or why – did it stop? Was it better leadership that said, “Nah, we ain’t gonna act that way anymore? Hell, no. It was the invention of the iPhone combined with the internet: Facebook, Instagram, TikTok. Everybody filmed everything and put it out on the web. Now, you’d say that just spawned more conspiracy theories. True, did. But it also shown a light on everything everybody did. It’s Abraham Zapruder on steroids. So it stopped, sorta.

The first alleged assassination on Trump. Heard much about the kid that tried to take him out? Nope, me neither. I think we’re seeing a return of this kind of operation. So we’ve gone from left of center power brokers to right wing nutjobs. Doesn’t that bring you great confidence in the future?

Here’s the thing. Understanding this doesn’t change much of anything. But how will it play out this time? Ironies will abound. Trump is doddering. Probably won’t leave Mar-a-Lago much, as he’s likely paranoid about those same guys that orchestrated the ‘near miss’ not missing next time. Wouldn’t you worry about that if you were him? So somebody – or some bodys – will emerge as the next strong man/men. But it will be pointless. Huh?

One more digression. Let’s turn to the Middle East. Netanyahu. Oops – wait, let’s look at Putin first. He had his day in the assassination game. Learned his lessons well. Got away with all of his too…pretty much. The guy that got caught in London got returned to Russia in the prisoner swap. He’s probably locked in the same cell as Assad. Putin don’t like failures. Biden is so easily duped these days. The German Schroeder was key to that deal..and now he’s out. Starting to see the tide? But Putin got put on the back foot as the Brits say, when Netanyahu and Erdogan got rid of Assad. Not sure that was Bibi’s intent, but it sure was Recip’s – that’s Erdogan of Turkey’s first name, in case you might not remember that. Back to the Middle East. Bibi’s the big assassin on the block now. Taking out most of the opposition and blasting Gaza back to the stone age – where they mostly lived anyway – makes him top dog. Everybody loves him in Israel now. But what happens afterward? Iran is weakened. Israel is small, geographically. Who will ultimately benefit from this? Saudi Arabia. MBS. What does he want? Well, that’s a good question. He had his hand in the assassination game, taking out a reporter for the Washington Post. The issue lived on for a while, but now that Bezos is obeisant (love that alliteration!) to Trump, that won’t be a problem anymore. MBS wants to be in charge of the entire Middle East. No more Iran. And then no more Israel.

So back to the beginning. Democracy was personified by the uber strong United States. The election of one Donald J. Trump will put an end to that illusion. Without the US, Democracy lives in places like Sweden and Australia and the Pitcairn Islands, smallest democracy by population. Remember Pitcairn from Mutiny on the Bounty? But I digress. The end of democracy will be the end of our government and the splitting up of the country. I’ve already written that book – and almost finished with the sequel. But what I never fully understood – about my own writing – was the religious element of it. Quoting from Matthew, then the Koran, and finally the Bhagavad gita. It is no coincidence that Evangelicals are aligned with Trumpism. They expect to put their stamp on what goes on in the future – four years’ worth. But that will be just another brick in the wall (not the one with Mexico) that will be built between the regions of the country. We are heading for a breakup. It’s all in the book.

But what about this sequel – religious overtones? Yep, but new books – the Book of Sabrina, the Book of Julia, Maya as the final victor in the war between good and evil. Yes, the reunification of the country will be an element of this new religion, one based on a matriarchy of sorts. Because it will be oh so clear that patriarchy doesn’t work. Put the ladies in charge, please. There it is. But by the time all that comes to pass, I will be dust next to the pond. But I’ll have the satisfaction of being able to say, “Told ya.”

Sting Said it

… Every breath you take
And every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
I’ll be watching you

… Every single day
And every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
I’ll be watching you

Don’t know about the night he stays, but you know this one. It’s the stalker song! Supposedly some idiots play it at their wedding. Portends that future.

You will likely be bored with my single mindedness, but HCR is as bad as I am as the consequences of this woebegotten election are huge.

This pic sums it up visually.

Choices and Consequences

Oren Cass, a “conservative” think tank head, wrote an OpEd piece in the NYT about the choices Trump must quickly make in the opening days of his administration. Immigration. Cryptocurrency (?). Infrastructure and returning jobs to the US from overseas. He isn’t very encouraging.

Oren points out that presidents have to transition from campaigning to win to governing. They are surrounded by people with agendas. Ref: the West Wing TV series from the 90’s where you saw that on nearly every episode. Oren has a limited amount of confidence that Trump will take his “mandate” and effectively do the right thing. How naive they are. Who they?

“Conservatives” are just old school Republicans. They don’t understand Trump. He isn’t one of them. In fact, it’s pretty clear he has great disdain for them. He’s a lizard brained sociopath in the beginning stages of dementia. That makes for a vicious loop in his thinking, with the dementia destroying any logical bits left in the cranium, emphasizing the lizard component. Note to Conservatives of the world: HE IS CAPABLE OF JUST ABOUT – NAY..I REWRITE THIS STATEMENT. HE IS CAPABLE OF ANYTHING. ANYTHING.

He’s already begun by taking a swipe at used to be fat and now Ozempic’d Mike Pompeo. He took another one at Nikki Haley, who fully deserved it. Guess she never understood that it ain’t no good to let other people get your kicks for you. Oops..channeling Dylan there for a moment. What I meant to say is she tried to straddle the Trump fence and ended up just looking really venal and shallow. Maybe that’s what she is. Don’t know. I became a Republican to vote for her in the primary. Big mistake. Won’t do that ever again.

Back to the topic at hand. Expect no rationality here, folks. Anything is possible. Anybody is possible, regardless of experience or political persuasion, for his administration. God help us. Oh..one final note. Didn’t see a whisper in that OpEd piece about climate change. Can you hear me? Can you hear me? Climate change. It will be the death of many of us. Prepare ye the way of the weather.

I’ll be watching. And talking. And reminding you: you let him in.

Awakenings

Per HCR, voters are waking up to realities that are a day late and a dollar (or twenty) short. Like tariffs increase costs. Undocumented relatives can be deported. You can’t have your cake and eat it too.

stupidity, gullibility, naivety. Don’t forget: you let him in.